Irene Valenti: What I would want to know is how invested is the company in really getting to know you, your history, your values, and what you are looking for. At the end of the day, it comes down to trust. Trust in the people that are working on your behalf, trust in their process, and trust in yourself and your judgment. I always tell prospective candidates that it has to feel right for both parties. Most human beings are more intuitive and self-aware than they often give themselves credit for and they just need to tap into that.
Irene Valenti: I get asked this question a lot. The honest answer is that we really don’t know, because measuring “success” in this industry is impossible. Organizations catering to single men and women that promote and advertise a “success rate” are really doing a disservice to potential clients by raising unrealistic expectations.
Irene Valenti: Well, for example, if an organization introduces two of their clients and they are compatible and decide to enter into a committed relationship, but for whatever reason, they decide to part ways after 6 months, one could certainly argue that was a successful match, while others may not. Another example could be a client who is ecstatic about the caliber of people they are meeting, they are enjoying our 5-star concierge services, they are becoming a more self aware and more fulfilled human being from the feedback from our psychologists, but they are not yet in a committed relationship. Although they are not currently “matched,” that particular client would say their experience thus far has been highly successful. What is also important to remember is that at Valenti International, we have an eclectic mix of clients of different age ranges who are often looking for different things. For example, some clients that are looking to get married might view “success” as engagement or marriage only. However some of our clients are not looking to get married, but rather for a committed relationship.
Irene Valenti: Yes, it`s very subjective and highly variable. There are many things that we do at Valenti for our clients in terms of support, guidance and feedback that cannot be measured by statistics. What I prefer to look at instead is the qualities that make someone a “successful person’ and then help that particular individual reach their full potential. Clients that are positive, enthusiastic, fit and attractive will go into this process with confidence and trust us for the entire term of their contract. These are the clients who are consistently the most satisfied. Thus, the notion of “success,” really depends a lot of the individual. Deciding on the right service for you is a very important life decision. I encourage people to not just take some arbitrary success number that a company gives you at face value, but rather ask that particular company how they derived at that number.
Irene Valenti: Understanding and managing an individual’s expectations is a very important part of the process of matchmaking, and we have become much better at assessing that over the years. This is however, a very challenging aspect to what we do and something that I imagine other organizations also experience. I am delighted that the majority of our clients understand that matchmaking on this level is a process and not a short-term proposition. What confounds me are the “guarantees” that some potential candidates want and expect, or the desire to know specifically how long it will take them to be successfully matched. I do not fault people for wanting to obtain this information, as I think the advances we have made in technology have created an environment where people want immediate results. At Valenti, we never make any guarantees because when you are dealing with the human heart and emotions, how can you make a promise that a relationship will be ultimately successful? We are not selling an appliance, but rather a high-end, customer focused service agreement. We do promise to work tirelessly for our clients. We provide exceptional customer service in the way of hands-on support, guidance and feedback, and introduce our clients to men and women that we believe are of a very high caliber.
Irene Valenti: Our services do not include speed dating or anything comparable to various online dating matchmaking services. If one’s expectation is that Valenti will simulate what an online experience will be, they will be ultimately disappointed. If one is more concerned with frequency of introductions, rather than quality of introductions, they will be disappointed. Matchmaking at this level is more personal and we are being asked to do something that is very difficult and never an exact science. Each introduction that we facilitate is done with a great deal of consideration and care. We have never looked at matchmaking as a numbers game, as it goes against everything I believe. Our focus is on obtaining a deep understanding of who our client is and the type of individual that will be their best complement.
Irene Valenti: I understand that there is so much more to someone than a photograph. People are much more complex and layered. Psychologists are specifically trained to recognize patterns of behavior, important interpersonal needs, and the structure of one’s character; with this information we are able to make introductions based on essential forces that make a real relationship work. Our clients feel great safety and security in knowing that every Valenti client has been profiled by one of our staff psychologists. In addition, maintaining our client’s privacy and confidentiality is of the utmost importance to us, and who better to maintain that than professional psychologists.
Q: What do you think is the most important thing in maintaining a successful relationship?
Irene Valenti: It is never just one thing, because so many positive elements must be occurring at the same time in order for a relationship to be successful. What I will say is that one of the things I have noticed throughout my career is that two people can have everything going for them, but if they are not good at communicating their needs and desires, it will eventually cause problems in the relationship. We need to also become better listeners and validate our partner’s thoughts and feelings, even if we don’t necessarily agree or see things the same way. Every human being just wants to be heard.
Q: Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me. Is there a final thought that you could leave us with?
Irene Valenti: I believe that the more you have to offer, the harder it is to find someone. That really captures the type of individual that is most attracted to Valenti and what we do. I never want anyone to settle for anything less than what they truly deserve.