Men act like they are the only species afraid of commitment.
We are. We are very scared.
It is a very hard concept to wrap our testosterone-filled bodies and child-like brains around, when genetically and biologically, by laws of nature and procreation, we are meant to inseminate as many females as possible (at the same time, if we’re Dan Bilzerian) and keep moving forward to the next challenge.
Most of us are mentally alone for most of our lives; those who find the courage to share their deepest thoughts with someone end up not being alone.
We never think too deeply about life with another human being for the rest of our lives; that comes with a certain level of maturity, a calm understanding of the present, and an optimistic vision of the future.
When you get to a certain point in your life, you start seeing things on an abysmal level, and that level is pretty intimidating for everyone.
But, isn’t it intimidating for anyone? Don’t we all want to feel “free?” Why is the pressure on men and not women?
For women, it may, but not in a way men understand. It is a huge responsibility for a woman to trust a man to give her a child. She literally has to pick one person out of countless others to create another human being inside of her.
Then, she has to live with this man and their little creations, who poop non-stop, for the rest of their lives. That is a HUGE responsibility.
In that sense, females are way more courageous than men are because men can leave any minute; whereas, for a woman, it is almost biologically impossible to leave a human being that grew inside of her for nine months.
Reasons why men are afraid of commitment travels far beyond the traumatizing fear of having sex with only one girl for the rest of our lives.
Here are four:
We are individualistic and prideful.
We are afraid of being dependent on another person for mental support and afraid of the requirement of showing our insecurities to the person with whom we will live for the rest of our lives, under the same roof.
Most men are dependent on themselves. We always have ourselves to trust and depend on. Most men take care of themselves. We don’t take submarine dives into the root of certain issues or thoughts that bother us.
We have been trained to “walk it off” and “keep it moving.”
We are not as courageous as we used to be.
That is, courageous to foresee the unknown and still take the risk and believe — believe that the commitment is the right one out of 7 billion other people. The most important battles in the history of the world were won by the less fortunate army, which had heart and courage.
We like to feel free.
For men, consciously or subconsciously, it is a difficult and a heavy load of reality to accept. We must accept that another female, who was not a major part of our previous lives, is all of a sudden life’s focal point.
This makes a lot of men feel “trapped” because they fail to realize it’s liberating to have someone to talk with about insecurities and vulnerabilities, and still be loved.
We don’t realize we are already free.
We always subconsciously choose him or her every time there is a choice (if we truly love him or her).
When you get into a serious relationship, you don’t stop having options; you just choose your partner every time, moving forward. And, this CHOOSING of your loved one never stops. When he or she becomes yours, there is nobody else who can take his or her spot.
The key is to better each other along the way and set new standards as time passes.
Fear is normal. Fear is a very strong driving force. For some, fear breaks a person; for others, fear makes the person. Fear of the unknown can either push you to try new things or make you flightless.
We all need to use that fear of commitment as a driving force to take risks with the person we love, fully open up, embrace it and cultivate all the positive energy our love can create.
Originally Published: http://elitedaily.com/dating/fear-commitment-4-real-reasons-men-struggle-settling/909800/