by, Rachel Warren
Although there has been a long-time misconception that same sex couples and opposite sex couples are two entirely different things, our experts here at Valenti understand that they are not.
Love is love…. Chemistry between two people exists or does not.
Here are some tips for all couples to keep in mind whether you are in a same sex or opposite sex relationship.
1. Be 100% honest and authentic
If we are not honest and true to ourselves how can we be a true and honest partner to anyone?
We’ve all been told “I didn’t tell you because I was protecting you,” when in reality we were not being protected because at that moment when a lie is unfolded, we hurt more than ever. If your partner ever feels they need to lie in order to be a good partner, they are NOT a good partner… Walk away.
Healthy good relationships are built on respect, honesty, and trust not false hope and lies.
2. Treat your partner right
I was always told as a child, “treat people how you would like to be treated” and still to this day feel that it is a way of life and can be applied to all relationships. Always consider your partner as your equal and remember you get what you put out. If you are good and loving, you are more likely to get the same in return.
3. Do not worry about what other people think
It isn’t until we stop caring about what people think that we can truly be happy.
All people are comfortable with distinct levels of affection and in different settings. E.g. I am an affectionate person at home where I feel most comfortable; in public I am a hand holder at most. I.e., If you are comfortable kissing in public, KISS IN PUBLIC. Do not worry about what someone else may say or think, people get offended and people stare and people may even offer free opinions or advice but who cares… This is your life.
Of course, we must keep in mind that we do not want to be arrested for lewd behavior though. 😉
4. Develop common interests
When couples become bored, things go bad quickly. It is pertinent to any relationship that couples stay connected and together. Get involved in something. My fiancé and I enjoy fishing… some couples like traveling, playing board games, puzzles, walking or even group activities.
“The couple that plays together stays together.”
5. Be careful with your partner
Consider your partner for the person that you know they are. I.e. If your partner has emotional baggage (which is extremely common), be careful, think before you act. Basically, always consider your partner’s needs equal to your own, emotionally, physically, and mentally.
Remember, damaged goods are not broken; they just need to be handled with care.
6. Have a little faith
In life and in relationships some things are simply out of our control. The best policy is to believe in the relationship, trust it… believe in your partner, trust your partner. I touched on this in #1, #2 and #3. All you have control over is yourself… the rest is up to your partner.
All you can do is try your best and be your best and the rest is all life’s test. If you try and fail, at least you know you did what you could and it was not meant to be.
7. Make plans and set goals as a couple
I spent much of my adult life in relationships based on lies… No matter how hard I tried to make plans and set goals, I was always left disappointed and alone. I began wondering if people actually made plans or set goals… The concept seemed so unfathomable for me… I was utterly detached from the reality of relationships… Eventually I met a man who was different, he respected me and loved me and we made plans, set goals and we actually accomplished and met them!
Moral of the story; if you and your partner cannot meet goals, make plans, and see them through as a team, there is a problem… Walk away.
8. Be intimate
To have a healthy relationship there needs to be plenty of intimacy. Intimacy can be physical or mental/ emotional however intimacy between couples is necessary. Intimacy gives you possession of the emotional element of a relationship. Without intimacy two people may as well just be friends.
9. Express yourself
If something feels off, let it out. Sometimes past relationship baggage can haunt us for years and paranoia can weasel in and we start feeling uncomfortable or even doubtful… without intention, trust is being compromised and we may begin to withdraw from our partner… Before any of this happens, nip it in the bud and address the issue! If your partner gets upset for your expressing your feelings, WALK AWAY. Everyone is entitled to their feelings and all feelings are justified… Often issues like these can be easily remedied simply by talking.
If you are feeling anything, express it to your partner.
10. Be positive
Keep in mind that life is based on a series of balances. You get what you put out. If you want the relationship to work, be positive, remain confident about it. Build and plan a future. Make goals. Trust and remember that nothing is easy and relationships take work, there will always be bumps in the road and struggles.
Face all struggles with a positive and confident attitude together as a couple and you can achieve anything!